Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
