That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
