Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
