My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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