He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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