you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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