i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ugly people sure do ruin things
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
