I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
