Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im holly from the hills drunk
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
