I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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