Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize