Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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