The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
