Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
