I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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