remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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