Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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