the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Found your dick twin last night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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