is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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