you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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