So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
