so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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