i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
