i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
