i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
