I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
im six kinds of drunk right now
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
