I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
