Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
