what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
