It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
