is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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