Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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