no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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