OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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