All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
third nipple confirmed
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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