So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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