So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
