I wanna passion pit in your ass
We named our party play list daddy issues
i love accidental penises.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
