everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
