Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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