No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
