he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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