Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
