today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
