do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
