I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
