she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
