i dont even know how to be here
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
