I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
3pm strippers are depressing
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
