i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
