There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
