I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
