Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
