We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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