Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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