You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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