It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
